Day 1 (October 27)

As soon as I woke up, I put my first patch on. My first thought was, "is this going to mess with my tattoo?" then I realized that was stupid. Driving to work was ok but I forgot to remove some empty packs from my car. Yay for being a messy-assed person. 

I did discover on my drive in that rubbing my patch any time I need a smoke helps so if you see me randomly rubbing myself, that's why.

It wasn't that difficult the first few hours at work but when 11am hit, I was all "yay it's time for a smoke!" and then I was all, "aww..." Funny how habits work. I hope that doesn't keep happening because I choked up a little bit and it was my first realization that I'm honestly going to miss smoking so much. I love smoking.

I'm using some tips that Beth gave me - one being imagining an army of neurons in my brain gearing up for war against my addiction. I'm also trying to picture my brain and my lungs similar to how they are depicted on House, MD but with signs posted throughout the organs saying, "thanks, man, finally."

I've been on the verge of tears for a solid hour. I'm going to work out with Rick after work and I REALLY hope it will help. I keep telling myself that having so many people to lean on will make this easier. I just wish myself would listen.

May update again tonight.

Update 3:09: Afternoon cigarette break is way harder. Now all I want to do is eat pulled pork nachos with a side of red velvet cake. :(