Day 14 (November 9)

So, 2 weeks not smoking. Does this officially make me a nonsmoker? Or do I have to stop wearing the patch to be a nonsmoker? I'm trying to make today the first day I exist without nicotine. I put my last patch on yesterday morning and just don't want to put a new one on today. I'm keeping the old one on as a security blanket/placebo effect type of thing. Trying to pull the wool over your own eyes is a bit retarded but I'm doing it anyway!

Yesterday I had happy hour with Jen and Billiam at the Garage. This was a True Test of my massively impressive (and, quite frankly, intimidating) willpower since I did most of my bar smoking there. A dude with stupid facial hair was sitting next to Jen chainsmoking and it smelled really yucky. A few other people in the bar were smoking and I silently judged every single one of them. I wanted to say "F it all" and buy a pack once but I just took a deep breath and moved on.

According to the scale this morning, I'm turning back into a big fat cow. I supposedly (I don't always "trust" my scale and feel like sometimes it has a vendetta against me and likes to make shit up) gained 5 lbs since last week. Smoking will kill me, 5 lbs won't. That's today's mantra.

I have to remember all of the awesome people who make me feel pretty cool for quitting. Work people, friends, etc. I say their names in my head similar to how Arya Stark in the A Song of Ice and Fire books did, though she would list all of the people she thought deserved to die. It gave her strength to say that list every night and in the same manner, it's giving me strength. We don't do anything in a bubble so this Massively Impressive thing I'm doing doesn't just effect me but everyone in my life too and that's pretty cool!

Life is grand. New episodes of Psych start tomorrow!