Day 15 (November 10)

I'm saddened to report that yesterday, the experiment to not wear the nicotine patch failed miserably. DAMMIT. I was crabby all day, cried for no reason no less than 3 times over such things as: someone not clearing a copy job from the copier, not being able to find my can opener and lastly, being stuck behind a dude with Independent stickers all over his SUV in the Liberty Tubes while he smoked the entire time. You wouldn't think that I could smell it, BUT I COULD. I should have taken down the dude's license so I could track down his address and mail him a knuckle sandwich. I refrained from putting a patch back on until my drive to work this morning so I'm thinking I'm going to try every other day. Lord have mercy.

I'm so freaking sick of hearing about Matt Lauer's stupid interview with our stupid former president. My current "overcoming of nearly impossible odds" and standing amongst my peers as an "inspiration," a "juggernaut of addiction-fighting" if you will, etc. etc. (:P) is infinitely more important than GW's stupid book (which we all know he didn't write himself). Clearly, I'm also infinitely more important than Lindsey Lohan's freaking mom (who Matt Lauer LOVES to interview - gross). What I'm trying to say is, I should be on the goddamned Today Show and be interviewed by Matt Lauer.I haven't figured out yet how to go about making this happen but mark my words, it will. If somehow my dream, my only current goal in life (other than being a nonsmoker duh) doesn't come to fruition,
.
 (Land of the Lost was a funny movie)

Today I will attempt to focus on all of the positives in my life (there are a lot) and stop being so whiny and bitchy. I mean, really, I'm making my life better.  My suffering and still wanting to smoke is for the Greater Good. In all actuality, my staying a nonsmoker is just as important an "issue" as our energy problems, global climate change (polar bears), the economy, etc. Yes, these are delusions of grandeur but if I pretend that the entire universe is counting on me to not smoke, how can I?